If You're Still Talking To Someone Who Died, Read This.

A novel for people whose grief is messy, profane, funny, and impossible to explain to anyone who hasn't lived it.

Pre order for €8.88. Receive the ebook on 12 Oct 2026.

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Maybe Nobody Has Told You This

You're allowed to be angry.

You're allowed to laugh at something completely inappropriate.

You're allowed to swear at the people you miss.

You're allowed to ask for signs.

You're allowed to keep loving someone who died.

And you're absolutely allowed to keep talking to them.

If that made you exhale, you're in the right place.

Since You've Been Gone isn't a book about moving on. It's about what happens when someone dies and your relationship with them doesn't.

Before We Go Any Further

This book contains the word cunt. It contains the word fuck. Repeatedly.

If that offends you, this probably isn't your book.

But if reading that made you relax instead of recoil, if you've ever laughed at exactly the wrong moment, if you've ever been furious at someone for dying, then you've found your people.

This book is also not for you if you want:

Tidy grief
A five step healing plan
Advice on "moving on"

If that's you, no hard feelings. Save your €8.88 for something that fits.

What You Get For €8.88 When You Pre Order

The ebook – Since You've Been Gone. Delivered to your email on 12 October 2026.

A personal oracle card drawn by me – While writing Since You've Been Gone, I followed a daily ritual: I wrote 2,500 words each day, and at the end of each writing session I created a new card for what would become Inner Wisdom Cards. The deck grew alongside the manuscript, emerging from the same creative impulse that was guiding the book.

As a thank you for pre-ordering, the first 100 people will receive a personal card drawn by me from the Inner Wisdom Cards deck.

Here's how it works:

After you complete your pre-order, you'll receive a confirmation email.
If you are among the first 100, reply to that email with the words DRAW FOR ME and include your order number.
Within 72 hours, I'll send you a photo of your card along with a personal message inspired by it.
*Please note: Once you receive your card reading, the pre-order is no longer refundable. The reading is a service provided, and the transaction is considered complete.*

The Unfinished Conversations newsletter – At checkout you have the option to sign up for these newsletters. I write about grief, signs, mediumship, and the coincidences that make you wonder if the dead are still listening. I'll also share about workshops, retreats, other book launches, art prints, and everything else coming through me. Unsubscribe whenever. No hard feelings.

The Living Dead – A private group for readers of the book. You'll know what it is after you read it. It isn't open yet. I'm building it carefully. When it's ready, pre-order readers who finish the book will get the link first.

The Story Behind The Story

In 2020, I wrote a novel about a woman named Belle.

Belle's best friend dies. No warning. No goodbye. Just gone. She's left carrying a Ziploc bag of ashes, a truckload of rage, and more unanswered questions than she knows what to do with.

At the time, I thought I was writing fiction, dark quirky comedy. Turns out I was just channelling something I didn't understand yet.

Then life caught up.

My best friend was Shelley. Shell Bell.

I published the first edition in 2023 under a pen name because I was scared.

In 2024, Shelley was diagnosed with cancer. Around the same time, the physical copies of the book arrived. Shelley wanted a signed copy, even though it was a novel about losing your best friend while desperately trying not to become that story.

It never crossed my mind that Shelley might actually die. We were still making plans.

She never read the book.

Then 2025 happened. Shelley died. My dad died. My aunt died. Three impossible goodbyes in five months.

After Shelley died, I stood at her grave and asked for a sign. I got into my car. Cher came on the radio, one of Shelley's favourite artists. The song was "I Found Someone". The next song was John Waite's "Missing You". Different songs. Same four words. Since You've Been Gone.

The title of the novel I wrote years earlier. The novel she never got to read.

I sat there laughing. Crying. Swearing.

Now I'm putting the book back into the world. In my own name.

What Early Readers Have Said

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

"Profane, confrontational, loving and, ultimately, reflective. I'm not ashamed to say I had to wipe away the odd tear or two. I think you have something quite special here."

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

"I love her already. This is probably exactly how I would grieve for a best friend."

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

"I was completely swept up in the world of it, thanks in no small part to Belle's wonderful epistolary voice."

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

"I absolutely adore Belle. What a great character, even after just seven pages."

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

"The cursing was a perfect touch. The character arc is great, as are all the music references."

If you've ever wondered whether anyone else grieves this way...

If you've ever talked to someone who's gone and secretly hoped they could still hear you...

If you've ever found comfort in a coincidence you couldn't explain...

Then Belle is waiting for you.

And I think you'll recognise yourself in her.

Pre order Since You've Been Gone for €8.88

The first 100 oracle card draws are limited because I am one person. When they're gone, they're gone. No fake scarcity. Just the truth.

Frequently Asked Questions

When will I receive the ebook? 

12 October 2026. You'll get an email with a download link.

What format will the ebook be in?

You'll receive an EPUB file, compatible with Kindle, Kobo, Apple Books, and most e-readers. Before purchasing, please make sure your e-reader opens EPUB files as there are no refunds due to incompatible devices.

What is your refund policy? 

Before 12 October 2026, if you change your mind, come back to the website and press the refund me button I'll refund you completely. No questions. No hoops. After delivery on 12 October, no refunds will be available.

Please note: If you receive a personal oracle card reading from me before the delivery date, the pre-order is no longer refundable. The reading is a service provided, and the transaction will be considered complete.

At checkout, you will be asked to waive your 14-day cooling-off period. This is standard for digital products under EU law, as the right of withdrawal ends once digital content delivery has begun.

Please make sure your e-reader supports EPUB files before purchasing. No refunds will be given for incompatible devices.

Will paperback versions become available?

I want to make them available eventually. This pre-order is for the ebook only. If paperbacks happen, details will be announced closer to the release date. However, paperbacks will not be available to European customers because there are just too many hoops to jump through. Sorry!

What is The Living Dead and how can I join?

After you read the book, you'll know what it is. It hasn't been created yet, but will be built around the readers who want to join. The group is only open to readers of the book. When you've finished and if you want to join, email me and I'll add you to the list. You'll be the first to get invited when it opens.

Can I gift this pre-order to someone?

Yes. During checkout, you can enter their email address as the delivery contact.

How do I know if I'm one of the first 100 pre-orders?

You'll receive a confirmation email after your purchase. Reply to it with DRAW FOR ME and your order number. If you're in the first 100, I'll send your oracle card within 72 hours.

Please note: Once you receive your card reading, the pre-order is no longer refundable. The reading is a service provided, and the transaction is considered complete.

Is this book for me if I haven't lost someone? 

Maybe. But honestly? This book is heavy and dark. If you haven't experienced grief, you might still love Belle. Or you might find her exhausting. That's okay either way.