Keeping your spiritual side hidden away from yourself and others can be one of the toughest journeys to navigate whilst on your spiritual path.
It can make you can feel like you are crazy, alone, paranoid, and basically just all over the place.
It can make you feel disconnected with other aspects of your life and it can really interfere with being able to enjoy those parts of your life. For example, you may not be able to fully appreciate or feel gratitude for what you have. Yes, you may have that superficial feeling of gratitude and appreciation, but not that deep, soulful feeling or ability to feel that appreciation and gratitude in any situation in your life, or during any experience you may be having, whether it be good or bad.
Keeping your spiritual side hidden can cause your mind to wander to far away places and render it incapable of staying in the here and now. Causing you to overlook and ignore the enjoyment you can gain in the little things in life, in the present moment.
These are just a couple of examples!
Telling people who you really are and what you experience, know and feel, and the things you really believe in can stir up a lot of emotions and self doubt. It can cause you to feel fear and apprehension because, if you step out or confess out loud who you really are, and what you really believe in, life as you know it may completely change.
And then let’s get on to the feelings and questions like, I don’t even know if what is happening to me is real! Or, what is it that I am actually trying to do anyway? What is it that I want to do? What is my fucking purpose? How does all of this fit together? These feelings and questions can quite literally drive you temporarily bonkers and definitely fuck with your moods.
And while trying to tackle those feelings and questions and endlessly searching for the answers, there’s that anxiety that is bubbling up inside you around what your family and friends are going to think. And, if they’re okay with it, what about the people at work? Or the neighbors, your kid’s friends and families? That in itself is enough to make you want to stay hidden in your closet burying yourself under a mountain of fear, paranoia and other troubled thoughts!
Staying hidden in your closet under that mountain may work for a little while, but that calling won’t stop knocking. That thing won’t let you go that easily. It’ll drag you kicking and screaming if it has to, because what you are here to do needs to be done, there’s no way of avoiding it.
Some of the tell tale signs that it’s already come for you is when things start falling apart around you, for example, relationships and marriages suddenly breaking down, getting sacked from your job without warning, getting continuously harassed at work, businesses not performing, or if they are performing, that feeling of, “there’s something more out there that is deeper than this” still lurking.
And yet your stubborn self will still attempt to fix things, cover them up, make them work, keep going, not give up until you either hit rock bottom again and find yourself on your knees begging for mercy, or, you start taking conscious steps towards stepping out.
I had to learn the hard way.
The really hard way.
I spent almost two decades of my life hidden deep in that closet under mountains of crap! Ignoring the loudness of the pull towards accepting what my soul was screaming for me to do, which was to just honour my spiritual path. Instead I hid in a profession where facts and hard evidence and judgment was rife. I hid behind the illusion that my purpose was to build wealth… and then I hit rock bottom, not just once in my life, but a few times.
And when I hit rock bottom the last time, I was determined to never visit that place again. I learnt all about surrender. I stopped and listened. I saw all of the signs. I started taking action and stepping out.
In those two decades of hiding and ignoring the pulls towards living and working spiritually, I have learnt some of the most amazing life lessons one could learn. And the one I help others with is, choosing the easier way to align with their spiritual path. I help others step out fully without having to get dragged through the ringer, of course, being on this path, you will have already been dragged a fair way at this point, but you don’t have to go all the way down.
I finally quit my profession as a lawyer and I came out of the spiritual closet (part of me had to go kicking and screaming)… and now I accept that what I was hiding from and ignoring and trying to ignore, was the biggest part of who I am and, I love it!
These are the top five tips I can offer you to make this part of your journey easier:
1. Know this, you are not going crazy! What helped me was following my intuition, reading books and articles, finding mentors, going to workshops, but always, always, taking what resonated with me and discarding the rest.
2. Don’t compare your journey with anyone else’s. We are all unique, as are our life paths and journeys. Comparing yourself or your journey with other people’s journeys will set you behind and take you off course!
3. Have fun!! Make sure you make and take time to have fun and, don’t take yourself and life or your journey so seriously. When you get to the other side (when you step out), you’ll realize that you wasted a lot of time worrying for nothing!
4. Be kind to yourself and to others. Everyone is on their own journey, everyone is learning or not learning at their own pace, and that’s okay.
5. Have faith. I have spoken to God for years, but I have always been in the business of negotiating terms and promising to do something in exchange of something else! When I finally surrendered and understood that everything that happens to me, good or bad, is for my highest good, I have relaxed! I am not the person I was before!