For years I have been searching, seeking, asking, everyone, anyone… feeling so desperate, scared, alone and at times just plain old crazy. I jumped from coach to coach, psychic to psychic, anyone that could give me the answers…
This last year in particular I have been borderline obsessed with trying to find that thing that has been missing, that emptiness, that void, you know that thing that drives us?
I have lived inside my head, sat in my room and written and written and written, and read and read and read. I didn’t leave the house much, didn’t really want to interact with people in person, except I did go overseas to look for it. I was on a mission to find it. And today, I found it.
Since I have found it, I haven’t stopped laughing.
I’ve been laughing at me and the simplicity of it and how it was there all along!
Let me just tell you a bit about me and what I know I want to do.
I know I want to serve others, to help them realise their potential, to bring to life those big dreams that they are too scared to talk about openly, to see and feel what I see and feel for them, to believe in themselves. I know that’s what I want to do for other people.
Now lets get one thing straight too. I help people all of the time and I give them advice and tell them what steps they can take in order to make their dreams a reality.
But do you think I could do this for myself?
I was blind and deaf. I couldn’t hear or see anything, until today.
Last night I had a session with a coach, and when we first connected, I was asked what it was that I wanted to do for people, I then proceeded to explain. After I finished, she asked me this, what if you turned that around for you? I laughed and answered, yea that would be simple, but brushed it off.
This morning I spoke to someone new, who gave me amazing words of advice which made me cry because of the way they so eloquently put things, but also, because I tell people to do things that I don’t do myself or forget about!
And then I spoke to one of my dearest friends. We got talking and I could tell that her energy had positively shifted after getting some disappointing news. I told her again, what I saw in her and how much I believed in her and then I can’t really recall what happened, but I got this overwhelming sense of sadness wash over me, and I heard the words, I need a me for me.
And that’s it. That is what I have been looking for all of these years!
For me to give myself what I give to others.
How simple is that and how much do we overcomplicate it and look outwards for it?
So if you are searching, looking for answers or that big thing. Stop and look at you. You have you on tap 24 hours a day seven days a week. I still highly recommend that you have others push and support and brainstorm and teach you, but love you, trust you and listen to you first. I mean, who else has your best interests at heart like you do?
Can you see why I am laughing?
So now that I have finally discovered that big fucking secret, I am going to go and hang out with me, be nice to me, take me out and have some fun with me.
No more hiding me away from me and keeping me away from me. I’m going to love me like I love those around me and give me the support and encouragement that I give to those around me.
Thank you for being a part of this discovery. xx